Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
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