GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize
