On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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