i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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