I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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