I like to think it a success when the cops are called
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
