Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I love having hate sex.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
