can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
