She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
