This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
How does one acquire holy water?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
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