Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
