dude i'm inner monologue high
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
I deserve to be covered in dicks
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
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