So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize