I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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