You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
