it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
