Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
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