I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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