you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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