Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
