I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
