You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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