If i could tip my vagina, i would.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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