I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Randomize
