Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
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