I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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