I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I couldn't find my hair brush so I just brushed my hair with a cat brush. I should not be dating.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
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