dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
