I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
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