Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
She has the best kind of daddy issues
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
