If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Randomize
