It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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