he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
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wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
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How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize