I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
ha. weirdest feeling ever. just wiped my ass with my non-dominant hand. (eating cheeseburger with right one)
Your grandmother is in heaven weeping.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Randomize
