if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
