I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize