I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
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