I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
You were trust falling into bushes
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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