I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Randomize