Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
