ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Also, I called my liver hardcore in front of vet students last night and then wound up having three of them trying to palpate it. So...not saying that again.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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