talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Yeah. I don't know. I'm just gonna show up at her place on valentines day with a jock strap, box of chocolates, and rose clenched between my ass cheeks with "be mine" written across my glorious man titties.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
