nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
There's limited edition cherry vanilla nyquil. It's like they know how much I hate myself and they're giving me a consolation prize.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
My therapist thinks I shld paint u something to show u my appreciation 4 ur friendship. 1) she must think I'm rite on the brink of no friends 2) this is real
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Randomize
