I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
this beer tastes like vomit already
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Randomize
