that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
Randomize
