thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
