Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
