dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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