I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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