what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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