Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
There is a midget driving a powered tricycle around town. I am not drunk, stoned, or lying.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize
