You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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