WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize