She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
