At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I wish i was in the wii world.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
