i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
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