you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize