My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
