so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
